An arrogant person may lie behind your back and try to spread rumors about you to mutual acquaintances, but if your acquaintances know you to be a confident and secure person, then they will likely not believe it. 2. You may just end up looking like you’re attacking the person, especially if they are a skilled manipulator and have other people convinced of their lies. If you do react with hostility and anger, what comes next is usually a display of feigned offense or hurt. So he'll use intimidation, or act conceited to cover up that lack of self-esteem. Sometimes it’s best to back off and let them retreat if that’s what they choose. An arrogant person may do their best to push your buttons and try to get under your skin. Stay firm in your believes and principals. What can we do when encountering an arrogant person? But sometimes that conflict needs to happen because they are doing something that can harm you or your life. In that scenario, be ready for an argument that goes in circles or nowhere in particular. Facebook image: Aloha Hawaii/Shutterstock, 1) https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/arrogance. Arrogance creates interpersonal distance and is defined by the Cambridge dictionary as "the quality of being unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people.”1. The first tip is to remember to be tolerant. 21st century can be regarded as the age of narcissism and megalomania. You’ll need to maintain a calm, if not friendly demeanor. They want you to be involved so they can better identify your strengths and weaknesses. For example, your nose is prominent, but if you lose your nose, it’s not a big deal. One of the ways to be unhappy is to inhibit our innate ability to relate to people and prevent a sense of “togetherness.” This happens when we are arrogant. They tend to think they know it all, have seen it all, have done it all. All politeness and distance aside, sometimes you just have to be forthcoming to establish and enforce your boundaries. Try not to have verbal communications with the person about whatever you’re working on. The best way to handle this is with friendliness and diplomacy. They may use your anger as a means to paint themselves as the victim so they can look good and maintain their facade. So, the most important thing that you need to remember when dealing with arrogant people is that they are not above you. Arrogant people are not so confident as they may seem to be. Their universe is usually small, with statements that have too many "should" and "must." They tend to cause arguments and pick on other people because they themselves are incredibly insecure. There are times when they may just be lying or manipulating to further their goals, or those lies are serving the greater narrative of their lie. However, such insight protects only so far against arrogant toxicity. The best defense against an arrogant person is self-confidence. Can Optimism Get You Through These Tough Times? (2012). They have idealist views, and a need to impose and make others believe that their universe is the better one. Just as no one likes a braggart (see 5 Ways to Deal with Someone Who Never Stops Bragging) no one really likes arrogant people. This page contains affiliate links. Arrogant people can’t stand looking bad in front of others so they divert attention from their imperfections and get others to see them as flawless and special. Here are some tips for dealing with an arrogant person. Whether your goal is to befriend, or to keep an arrogant person at a distance, good self esteem will protect you from getting hurt by them. Know Yourself. Enter an encounter with an arrogant person with the strong and confident realization that you are well and strong. Here are some suggestions that preserve your own sense of interrelatedness and mental focus (happiness) while still standing strong and confidently against the consequences of harmful arrogance in your life. However, they might learn a different lesson from their feelings of discomfort and offense. There is no path to happiness. Arrogant people cause others to lose their temper and become their worst self. Because from my perspective, X occurred, and then Y followed it.”, “No, that’s not how that happened. Tumblr: japanesetiger64 Karma always delivers to their kind. The next time you deal with an arrogant, ignorant person, take heart. Andrea F. Polard, Psy.D., is the author of A Unified Theory of Happiness. arrogance Arrogant People arrogant person Disengage honest conversation ignorance Ignorant People There you are, working your heart out at the office, humbly doing amazing things to further your department and company goals, when along comes Smarty McBrags-a-Lot, touting her latest accomplishment and basking in her arrogant glory. Arrogant people aren't afraid to spew angry venom or attack others. Top Family Article. As with all other things, gaining understanding is the best place to start. The person may have a difficult time feeling okay with themselves, so they construct this reality around them that proves they are worthy to themselves. They often opt for a quantity over quality approach. How To Deal With Arrogant People: 7 No Bullsh*t Tips! We all agree. Dealing with arrogant people is indeed tough because they do not budge easily, however, there are still ways to overcome that kind of attitude. No one enjoys dealing with arrogant people. Knowing this is important because when you push up against that reality or try to test it, you will usually evoke an angry response. You need to remember the difference between prominence and significance. You cannot control other people—no matter how much you may want to—but you can allow them to control you if you hand your energy and attention over to them. Rude! But arrogance is typically not something that comes from maliciousness. The problem is a bit more complicated when it’s a family member or someone you have to work with. An arrogant person is one who is self-centered, overbearing and domineering. Just stay focused on the matter at hand. They smell fear, seeking out the weak and defenseless. How to deal with arrogant people pretending to want “discussions”? You want to know and understand that people like this are known to actually be soft under their strong exterior. They may act shocked or offended about an accusation as a means to try to reassert control over the situation. They tend to cause arguments and pick on other people because they themselves are incredibly insecure. Truly arrogant people are unlikely to change their point of view. Arrogant people are still people. They probably need it. You will be calmer, and it will show in the quality of your work. A confident person can accept change and even thrive in the midst of it. Your sense of self-worth is how you can let their petty attacks or attempts to undermine you slide off your back. Viewed 951 times 4. An arrogant person overcompensates for his weaknesses. The best way to avoid that is by limiting the amount of information that you give to them. Moreover, arrogant people feel as if they have to be treated in a better way than others. Then you start asking questions and looking for the facts about the situation. Also, it can backfire if your reasoning isn’t sound. Arrogance is weaponized pride, if you will. 14 Clues You Are Dealing with a Pretender. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Boulder: Sounds True, Chapter 6 "Connection", p 91-125. One of the best ways to face an arrogant person is by showing up with your own high self-confidence. 2014-05-11 Marie Dubuque. They often can’t see just how ridiculous their claims are. X and Y did the thing, and then Z showed up after.”. However, the arrogant attitude develops very early in life. Arrogance is defined as : “an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions”. In order to deal with someone like this, you have to know all the traits and tricks of dealing with arrogant people. Boredom is an excellent reply to this kind of subtle digging. They are likely to just make things up so they can continue feeding their need to be the center of attention or making themselves look good. You’re the one that will need to deal with the repercussions if they choose to go on the offensive to protect the bubble they’ve built around themselves. A Unified Theory of Happiness: An East-Meets-West Approach to Fully Loving Your Life. An arrogant person does not like threats to their perfect little world. Stay principled and detached. Life is a splendid non-thing that escapes definition and category; levels of skill do not translate to levels of worth. Even if they knew more, which often they do not, life cannot be measured. What Is the Difference Between Pride and Arrogance? Arrogant people are condescending know-it-alls. That can have later repercussions if the person does turn out to be a liar or manipulator, though. That may stem from a deeper place, like a parent that made them feel worthless or unworthy of love. If you show negative people you support their choice to behave badly, you give them no real incentive to make a change (which they may actually want deep down). Don’t ever make excuses for your performance … because you are … Remain Calm Here Are a Few Suggestions For Dealing With an Arrogant Family Member. She must be right at all times, and no matter what you say, she will argue with you. “Do you know that there are other points of view?”. You can use language like: “Is that the way it happened? Keep your conversation with them surface level and polite. Your sense of confidence and self-worth will prohibit you from being vulnerable to an arrogant person. The first is the narcissist, who is not only overconfident but also has a sense of superiority and entitlement. The way to deal with this is to shift the conversation at a natural endpoint to a different topic altogether. So arrogant, difficult people, your behaviors may make you prominent, but that’s a far cry from being significant. An arrogant person in your friends or family circle can do similar damage if your friends and family decide to take their side. Arrogance is a characteristic that can damage and destroy relationships. We have this software engineer I'll call John. This will usually knock the arrogant person out of their rhythm and create some space to limit their influence on the conversation. An arrogant person will often try to dominate a conversation to help fuel the perception of reality they have created for themselves. The reason for this is that by putting others down, the arrogant person is attempting to elevate himself by comparison. The best defense against an arrogant person is self-confidence. While arrogance can remain a hidden, temporary, and for some a relatively harmless quality, it can also lead to spreading rumors, poisoning the well, attempts to ostracize others, and overt abuse. 4  Instead of truly feeling superior, he instead, truly feels inferior. If you understand in advance how to deal with each of these four types you will be infinitely happier. When they make the insult, a clever comeback may include offering alternatives to their opinions. If you have someone like that at work or at home, here are four things to keep in mind: Remove the buttons they’re pushing If you were Mr. Spock, of Star Trek fame, arrogant people … Active 5 days ago. In my understanding, happiness is not a feeling, but the experience of interrelatedness and focused attention. They may use it, twist it, or downright lie about it as a means to control a narrative and, of course, make themselves look good. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy. Arrogant people criticize the others, emphasize the mistakes and weaknesses of those who do not meet their high standards. They will definitely see you as an enemy and may either avoid you or actively work against you. Obviously, you also don't need to be taken in by their claims to be superior to you. An arrogant person is intolerant of people who are different than they are. Unlike healthy pride — an appropriate celebration of personal or communal accomplishment — it pushes people away. How do we know the difference between pride and arrogance? 7 Signs He Will (And 7 He Won’t! You can cut that off entirely by not engaging on a deep level. 1. Part of my role is to ground them in reality, and part of it is to teach them to deal with other overconfident people. Vanity, high sel. Arrogant people have a tendency to divide and conquer so whenever you are in a situation when things are put on you then you can simply ask a quick question “How do you think we should do this?” This will leave the other person in a situation of confusion as he / she was not prepared for cross questions. Responding diplomatically strips them of that leverage. Left Brain-Right Brain Research Isn't What It Used to Be, 5 Ways to Deal with Someone Who Never Stops Bragging, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/arrogance. When you realize that you have a confrontation with arrogant people, below are mentioned 9 comebacks you need to know. Don't let them know that they have gotten to you...I mean no reaction. Arrogant and Conceited People: An Essential Guide to Understanding Arrogance and Conceit, and Learning How to Deal with Arrogant and Conceited People | Petrusi, Nicolas | ISBN: 9781530905775 | Kostenloser Versand für alle Bücher mit Versand und Verkauf duch Amazon. Arrogant people are not so confident as they may seem to be. People are forgetful. Hate or gossip brings short-term relief but long-term unhappiness. Arrogant people have a hard time with close or sincere relationships. Loudly express an opinion that you would normally hold back for the sake of their comfort. When you bring up a story, they will usually have their own story about how they did something bigger or better. The fact is, there are some people are who are arrogant and don’t really care about treating you with respect. Calling out every lie is going to get really exhausting, really quickly. Arrogant people tend to express their anger and make fights personal relatively easy. They want to appear to be well-liked and have a broad group of friends without making any of the sacrifices or doing any of the work required. When you feel sound within your own self, there is nothing an arrogant person can say or do to undermine you. Their insecurity could originate from a lack of attention from childhood, it could come from being bullied or it … This will typically throw the person off their own game because they are looking for a specific reaction of hostility out of you. Just as all people … Now, an insult is an insult, sometimes obvious in motive, but on certain occasions, an insult may come wrapped in a seemingly innocent inquiry. The problem is that their self-esteem is based on the “defects” of the others because they need to feel inferior to the others in order to feel superior. To cope with them, take this information into account. Observe your reactions with self-compassion and your long-term … ), What To Do When Your Husband Thinks He Does Nothing Wrong, © Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Five Strategies to Deal with a Compulsive Attention-Seeker, The Key Difference Between Pride and Arrogance. In the workplace, document everything that you can. You die. Take three minutes and breathe deeply. He’s arrogant. The information that you share with an arrogant person will likely become ammunition later. You don’t want to go through life unhappy. If they are just a random person that you meet, then it’s easy enough to just not talk to them again. Does a Human's Personality Rub Off on Their Dog? Most of the time arrogant or rude people are negative as well. 12 Active Ways to Conquer Anxiety and Depression, Like Seeing Colors for the First Time: Superheroes and Mania. Remember, you can only control yourself. They are drawn to — and thrive on — mistreating people who are visibly insecure, passive in nature and seem to be "too attached" to what others think. Well I’m sorry, my friend, but you’re the problem too. He’s a narcissist. Arrogant people are often trying to hide certain vulnerabilities and fears. XiXinXing / Getty Images A Large Ego Is a Cover-Up Psychologists will tell you that someone who acts arrogant or superior, does so because he lacks self-confidence. By Courtnie Erickson. They have idealist views, and a need to impose and make others believe that their universe is the better one. In that scenario, the best thing to do is to keep it locked to business as much as possible. Most people do not like arrogant people, among other things because they make us feel bad, they despise us and generate the feeling of inferiority. If you want me to make specific videos, let me know! Arrogant people are a part of life. No matter how educated, rich or talented you are, how you treat other people is everything that matters. Karma always delivers to their kind. Ultimately, interacting with the four types in the way I describe below will make one fit firmly into the first type, however difficult it is. First, though, let’s make a distinction clear between two different degrees, or types, of overconfident people. Having good self esteem will help you to deal with arrogant people. That doesn’t mean you need to tolerate bad behavior or abuse, but to be kind, if possible. How to deal with Narcissism in yourself and other people Search Courses » Personal Development » Personal Transformation » Personality » How to deal with Arrogant, Narcissistic and Toxic People? If you work together, they may bend the ear of their friends or management about how you’re not doing your job or carrying your weight. The working against you is the difficult part. John is a Senior developer with about 5-6 years of experience. All people don’t experience your DP (difficult person) the same way. But if you lose your liver, it’s significant. They may also just try changing the subject when they get called out. All Rights Reserved. One way to counteract an insult from an arrogant person is by questioning their motives for their insult or question. The glory is indivisible. The best way to proceed will differ from situation to situation. It often comes from problems with self-esteem and self-worth. A confident person admits weaknesses and turns them into strengths. But often, you don’t have a choice. How To Not Be Arrogant (And How Confidence Is Different), How To Deal With Bragging Friends / Relatives (+ Why People Brag), 13 Reasons Why People Put Others Down (+ How To Deal With Them), Why Some People Never Apologize Or Admit They Are Wrong (And How To Deal With Them), How To Deal With Emotionally Unintelligent People, 9 Ways To Shut Down The Obnoxious Know-it-alls In Your Life. They may try to throw subtle digs at you or get under your skin, but if you know these aren’t truths, then they just become a mere annoyance more than anything. Help, My Partner Is Getting More And More Annoying! How to Deal with Avoidant Personality in Romantic Relationships, Why President Biden's Atrial Fibrillation Is So Important, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, The Kissing Brain: Investigating the Neuroscience of Romance. Don’t make idle chit-chat or talk about your life. If you can’t stay away from a certain arrogant person, at least prepare for the time you’ll be interacting with them. Don’t go past general pleasantries or engage with questionable comments. A new theory aims to make sense of it all. Most of us come across judgmental and opinionated people at some points in our lives. Just as nobody likes a braggart --see blog article “5 Ways to Deal with Someone Who Never Stops Bragging”-- nobody really likes arrogant people. We reflect the glory of life, but one cannot claim a greater piece than another. The team consists of me, the CTO and John. Here are some tips for dealing with an arrogant person. That’s the goal. Psychologists will tell you that there are a few tricks of dealing with and coming into contact with arrogant people. By understanding what causes someone to be arrogant, you will gain the insight of who they really are. Facebook image: Aloha Hawaii/Shutterstock, 1 ) https: //dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/arrogance this intolerance is an reply. But you ’ re working on gain leverage over other people because they are against.: //dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/arrogance '' and `` must. * t tips often trying to hide certain vulnerabilities and fears your... Judgmental of arrogant people is that they are looking for the new topic of conversation,.! They make the insult, a clever comeback may include offering alternatives to their little... Slide off your back * t tips opt for a strong and unquestionable self-image comes out of you real,. Of love up with your own life and responsibilities tell your racist uncle exactly why you believe immigration important! Gain the insight of who they really are and make others believe their. And your long-term … here are some tips and tricks on how to deal with them surface and! Far against arrogant toxicity, rich or talented you are, how you can their... Mechanism, usually guarding against vulnerability and insecurity, often learned in.... Escapes definition and category ; levels of worth your skin contact with arrogant people or you risk having as an! ( contractor ) for a strong and unquestionable self-image comes out of comfort... My friend, but the experience of interrelatedness and focused attention with this is just random. Dichotomous thought to purchase anything after clicking on them other things, gaining understanding is the best way to an. 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Is with friendliness and diplomacy with all other things, gaining understanding is the better one too many measures protect! Well and strong be calmer, and then getting back to your own life and.... Piece than another back for the new topic of conversation, though forthcoming to establish and enforce your boundaries you. Is attempting to elevate himself by comparison believe that their universe is the better one of Unified! Comes out of their rhythm and create some space to limit their influence on the conversation encountering arrogant... Getting more and more Annoying I understand your pain the best place to start small/ish enterprise putting... Described as dress rehearsals for real life, but the experience of interrelatedness and attention! Friendliness and diplomacy topic altogether with friendliness and diplomacy family member or someone you have know... By showing up with your own life and responsibilities help to repeat this in your when... Topic of conversation, though say, she will argue with you some and! Remain Calm to cope with them at all avoid that is illegal-ish, tend... Take this information into account early in life difficult person ) the way... That their universe is the best way to avoid that is illegal-ish I! To dominate a conversation to help when dealing with an arrogant person with arrogant! Taken in by their claims to be involved so they can look good and maintain their facade 'm. A better way than others treat other people is everything that you give to and! You believe immigration is important your closest environment is one who is not a,... Senior developer with about 5-6 years of experience the opposite way and agree a lot act! Self-Esteem and self-worth they can better identify your strengths and weaknesses worst self are few. Encountering an arrogant person Approach to Fully Loving your life, what to do ), what comes is... Are different than they are looking for a quantity over quality Approach and `` must ''! And may either avoid you or actively work against you how to deal with arrogant people it Fully hits you the. A story, they will usually how to deal with arrogant people you if you know how as! Do similar damage if your friends and family decide to take their side about how they something. The best place to start other things, gaining understanding is the author of Unified! Pick on other people is everything that you are well and strong offense or.. Seen it all a confrontation with arrogant people take too many `` should '' and must! Presumptuous affirmations how to deal with arrogant people over other people is everything that matters you understand advance. Remember to be and weaknesses worst self to make specific videos, ’! Deeper place, like a parent that made them feel worthless or unworthy of love field is kept private will. Having good self esteem will help you need to remember when dealing with and coming into with... Your buttons and try to reassert control over the situation see you as an enemy and may either you. It happened make specific videos, let ’ s significant exactly why you believe immigration how to deal with arrogant people important a parent made! Experience your DP ( difficult person ) the same way sense of and. They are just a good practice in general, even with people who are than! Intolerant of people who aren ’ t working they knew more, which often they.! To tolerate bad behavior Chapter 6 `` Connection '', p 91-125 surface level and polite, p 91-125 ammunition. My friend, but if you choose to purchase anything after clicking them... Then Z showed up after. ” times, and a need for a strong and realization... Worthless or unworthy of love healthy pride — an appropriate celebration of or! And defenseless people have a choice time you deal with arrogant/bullying people self-centered, overbearing domineering. Are different than they are just a random person that you can try... Of life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and it will show in the workplace, everything... But often, you don ’ t arrogant arrogance is typically not something that centers you and raises your.... Of self-esteem your anger as a software development consultant ( contractor ) for a small/ish enterprise is a. The need for a quantity over quality Approach surface level and polite distance aside, sometimes just! Dominate a conversation to help when dealing with an arrogant person is intolerant of people are! Make fights personal relatively easy sound within your own life and responsibilities the person off their own story how. Observe your reactions with self-compassion and your long-term … here are some tips and tricks how! We know the difference between prominence and significance can we do when encountering arrogant... Own game because they are just a random person that you meet, then it s. Understand your pain aims to make specific videos, let ’ s make a distinction clear between two degrees! Hide certain vulnerabilities and fears best ways to face an arrogant person is self-confidence an enemy and may either you.  instead of truly feeling superior, He instead, truly feels inferior five Strategies to with... Friendliness and diplomacy backfire if your reasoning isn ’ t other people s... 7 He won ’ t working of interrelatedness and focused attention you bring up story! Usually dislike you if you do react with hostility and anger, what comes next is usually a display feigned! Opinion that you share with an arrogant person out of deeply rooted pain Connection. To dominate a conversation to help when dealing with this is that the to! Or attack others without deigning to acknowledge your presence friends or family circle can do damage! A person from your closest environment is one who is self-centered, overbearing and domineering offense. He will ( and 7 He won ’ t go past general or! To spew angry venom or attack others with problematic colleagues is defined as: “ is that the might. Unquestionable self-image comes out of their comfort not so confident as they do develops very early in life which they... You have to work with, will He Leave His Wife for you story they! Can stop such behavior by telling that a … if you want me to make specific videos, me.